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Friday, 2 November 2012

Some Pages From The Counsellor's Life

I read somewhere that "Counselling yourself is almost next to impossible", and from whatever personal experience I have, I know that is indeed true!

It was the month of May... Results were being given out one by one- I did not clear the prestigious IIT-JEE by a margin of just 3 marks! Just? Or unjust? This was a great blow. Then came my CBSE (class 12) Boards result, which was below my expectations. My AIEEE rank was good enough. But I did not want to go to an NIT (Although NITs are as prestigious as IITs, well almost, I have my own reasons). So I did not even acknowledge that rank. I did not want to get into any of my state's engineering colleges too... I felt Delhi University IS my place now for future studies.

My hectic(almost inhumane) schedule was the prime(In fact the "only" factor) factor for my bad grades. I had to stop playing badminton(I was a regular player), forget about playing my much-loved violin, stop hanging out with friends or attending birthday parties- in short stop breathing to meet the fervid demands of my life!

Here are some pages from my diary. Hope you have a good time reading it...

"Hopes, Hopes and Hopes. . . where will they lead me?. . .

And here I am in Delhi! In Noida to be precise... Well, I never thought God would actually let me come to Delhi of all places to try my luck for higher studies here. But here I am… the thing that is haunting me most now is if God would finally keep me here. For I don’t have a good percentage in my class 12 CBSE boards; even though I have given my papers for rechecking, I don’t think I’ll get it at the time of admission in Delhi University. But admission will come later… Tomorrow the first cutoff list for DU admission 2012 will be declared. Till now everything has proven to be a dark cloud for me. I have been a failure in everything starting from IIT-JEE, ISAT to BITSAT. Even my CBSE marks were a complete heart shattering surprise to me, my family, teachers, my principal – Everyone! It breaks my heart even now when I think about it.

My career has always been what most students aspire for until now… I had always been a topper in my class. I stood first when I graduated from nursery. I took admission in kindergarten in St. Mary’s. There, against all odds, I was always among the top four! Eventually, I changed schools to Sarala Birla Gyan Jyoti; which I consider my second home.

My personality bloomed in this school. It taught me to create a balance between academics and extracurricular activities. I brushed up my singing and acting skills, fine-tuned my game in badminton and learnt to play the violin. I also found my hidden talent – my writing skills. I never realized I could write well. But my English teachers proved me wrong! But I can go to all these details later… now back to DU cutoff! My mother (yes, she is a cyber mom) Google searched and found out that the cutoff list will be announced shortly after 8.00 pm. Now many of my friends were very tense. Some were even elated because they were sure that they would make it through in the first cutoff list itself! I don’t know what to expect… Whether to hope fervently for something good or prepare for the worst. I have hoped before in the past, but that didn't prove to be any good. In some cases, I thought I might get the worst, which turned out to be true.

I didn’t know what the Almighty has planned for me this time. So I was trying not to hope for anything… After being in the top 50 regional in Class 10 CBSE board exams, this had been a great shock to everyone. But maybe God had a greater plan for me in store. Now God shouldn't have brought me to Delhi if I won’t get a seat in DU. Because my family went through a lot of emotional pain to send me up here(as typical Indians believe Engineers and Doctors are the only respectable professionals out there). But it was not in my hands to decide anymore. I had given my exams already. These marks would be my soul mate and God, my guide. I had surrendered everything to God. All I want to say was that it was true I had been hurt extremely badly, but I couldn’t see my family get hurt anymore. So I was just praying to God not to hurt my parents and family anymore. Even my teachers and my Principal ma’am… Waiting for good news…"

This is continued in my next blog post. So do not stop reading! (contd.)
5 The Amateur Counsellor: Some Pages From The Counsellor's Life I read somewhere that "Counselling yourself is almost next to impossible", and from whatever personal experience I have, I know ...
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